Thursday, December 31, 2009

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

10 years ago, when asked that question, I ALWAYS had an answer. I was a planner... I knew what I wanted to do with life, and what I was going to do to get there. So, 10 years ago, as a 14 year old high school Freshman, this was always my answer:

I will have graduated from East Carolina University as a Teaching Fellow and be in my 3rd year as a teacher. By then, I will be married, and probably have a child.
I look back on that now, 10 years later, and the reality is, that none of that has happened. Back then, I was so focused on making all of that happen, and making everyone happy. Now, as I've grown, I've realized that even the best made plans, some times fail, and in the grand scheme of things, it is OK if they do. Its been a long road to that realization, and to be at peace with things not turning out the way that I planned, but I've learned a lot, and come to realize that everything truly happens for a reason.

Here are some 0f the most memorable moments of the past decade:
  • Went through High School. I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it.
  • Got my first job as a cashier at Piggly Wiggly.
  • Turned 16 and got my driver's license.
  • Totaled my first car - well it wasn't my fault.
  • Realized that my first long term crush wasn't ever going to happen
  • Went through the entire Teaching Fellows Selection process - it was long and difficult, but I was accepted into the program.
  • Worked in Fast Food.
  • Made a quilt.
  • Turned 18.
  • Graduated High School, 5th in my class of 131 students.
  • Moved out of my parents' house for the first time ever to a dorm room to live with a person who I'd never met, but came to love.
  • Began my college career.
  • Was admitted to the hospital for gall stones and pancreatitis. This resulted in having my gall bladder removed and staying in the hospital for a week over Christmas.
  • Worked as a Resident Advisor for a year.
  • Lost my Grandma.
  • Moved back into my parents house.
  • Withdrew from the Teaching Fellows Program.
  • Struggled with depression.
  • Lost innocence.
  • Started dating.
  • Changed my major to Business Management.
  • Turned 21. - The last of the "birthdays you look forward to"
  • Met a guy who I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. Became engaged and planned our wedding. Later realized that it wasn't going to work out, and made the hardest decision of my life to break off the engagement.
  • Stopped going to college.
  • Bought a house.
  • Lost a job that I had been working for over a year.
  • Began substitute teaching for a second time. This made me want to finish my teaching degree.
  • Helped my parents celebrate 25 years of marriage.
  • Started selling Tupperware.
  • Started working with my current company, until the time is right to go back to school.
  • Gained a Brother In Law.
  • Continued to battle with depression.
  • Found out I'm going to be an Aunt.
  • Had hope for a better 10 years ahead.
Over all, the last 10 years haven't been all that I hoped they would, but they have shaped me into who I am today. I've learned to not make plans long term. So, where do I see myself in the next 10 years? Who knows. Hopefully, I will be doing something that I love with people that I love.

So good riddance to the 2000's. Here's to a more fulfilling 2010.

Goodbye 2009!

So I started off this year, trying to do a monthly thing here on the blog called "Rewind," at which I failed miserably. I did a good job for, oh, maybe months 1 and 2, but by March, I was behind. Use the link above to see all the goings on for January through April. (I did make one late post)

To catch everyone up, and to try and cut down on some of my wordiness, here are the highlights, and a few lowlights of 2009 - in bulleted form. Some of them, will be things I've mentioned before, but there are some very new things as well!

  • I went on a couple of dates with a guy who seemed like a good one at first, but by the second date was definitely a "Mr. Wrong."
  • I turned 24.
  • At the end of May/beginning of June, I did an 8 day Substitute assignment in a 5th grade classroom. It was the last week and a half of school. Their teacher was in a car accident and was unable to finish out the school year. It was absolutely challenging, but at the same time, really opened my eyes. It made me realize just how dissatisfied I am in my current job. It solidified my decision to go back to school to finish my teaching degree. (This will most likely happen in the fall of 2010.)
  • I chickened out again when face to face with someone that I care a lot about, and didn't share with him my feelings. Now, I fear that this whole opportunity has slipped away. Sometimes it is too late.
  • For most of the year, I had been working very hard to meet a very specific goal with Tupperware. In July, it finally happened, and I was promoted to Manager! I have an awesome group of ladies working with me.
  • In August, I boarded a plane for the first time in 12 years, and I was Florida bound! Earlier in the year, I qualified to attend Tupperware's Annual Jubilee for free. Not only was it my first Jubilee, but my first time in Florida. I definitely will be going back! In fact, next year, the event is being held at a Disney Resort! I'm already excited!
  • Work continued to be a drag... but it was some better this semester, because I was working with a different Production Manager.
  • October was time for our annual trip to the mountains... it was great to get away for a few days. I rode a horse for the first time in a really long time... and for the first time in the mountains. I was excited, and terrified at the same time. In the end, it was fun.
  • Right before our trip to the mountains, my sister shared some really exciting news with the family. She's PREGNANT! I am so so excited to be an Aunt! She is now just over 14 weeks, and has had a seemingly easy pregnancy so far. They go for the big ultrasound in a couple of weeks to find out the sex -- I'm pulling for a girl!
  • The last couple of months, I slumped back into that very lonely place. The Holidays didn't seem to have that happy feeling that they normally do, but I've found that this has been the case for the past couple of years. I didn't even put up Christmas decorations this year. That isn't normal for me.
That pretty much brings up to speed. Here's to a new beginning in 2010.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I'm sure you're all worried....

...since I haven't blogged in forever... [yeah right, who am I kidding?] But the truth of the matter is, I haven't been in writing mode. I've just fallen into a huge funk lately, and haven't really cared to spread the negativity here on the blog.

That being said, with 2009 ending tomorrow, and it being the beginning of a whole new decade, I have been doing some thinking, and over the next few hours will try to put into words all the crazy things that are swirling around in my head right now. I have no idea if these posts will actually get done, because let's face it, I pretty much suck on the whole blogging thing lately... but one thing I can say for certain, is that I'm going to try! Keep checking back for an update!

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