Monday, October 19, 2009

It still stings...

Let me start off by saying... I am in a MUCH better place, emotionally, than I was 2 years ago... I've been single for well over 2 years and at times, I feel like its never going to happen for me... but there are still times I have hope.

With that being said... the one question that still stings to this day is "When are you going to get married?" Part of the time, it is said in a joking manner... and I do realize that not everyone knows about things that have happened in my past... but geez people... I am 24. Yes, in my perfect world, I would have been married by now, perhaps with a child... BUT things happen and I'm not married.... right now there is no intentions of even being married within the next few years...

It especially gets to me when I'm at a Wedding... like this weekend... my older cousin got married, and someone asked "the question." Then followed it up with "Well are you even courting (yes, they used that word) anyone now? How do you expect to get married if you aren't courting anybody?" I felt my lip quiver... I wasn't gonna do it... I couldn't let it get to me right then and there... I didn't cry, no matter how much I wanted to... but it felt like a knife to the heart.

I want to yell when people ask me... I want to say "MAYBE I'LL NEVER GET MARRIED... IT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN, BUT HE WAS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR WHO BROKE MY HEART!! AND NOW I JUST MAY STAY SINGLE FOREVER..." because that is how I really feel... Some times I just get tired of the fake laugh and the forced smile.

2 comments:

  1. Oh sheesh hon. You're TWENTY-FOUR. You're just a babe in the woods (or whatever). No need to rush it.

    I do think part of it is where you live. I swear to you that when Jason and I were engaged people were like, "FINALLY! He's SO OLD!" He was TWENTY-SEVEN. WTF?

    ReplyDelete
  2. People are rude. And I would love to tell you it stops AFTER you get married, but then it's "When are yall gonna have kids?" etc, etc, etc... It doesn't stop. Ever. I'm sorry people are being mean to you.

    ReplyDelete

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