Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Warning: Depressing Post Ahead....

I miss... 
  • Knowing what the hell is going on in my life.  I'm still stuck in this "where am I going" phase.
  • Being in a relationship. Nothing new, I know, but seems like I can't get over this.  I may even write a whole blog about it later.
  • Being comfortable in my own body.  As of late, I've been having issues with this. 
  • My best friend:  Long story short, he moved out.  Haven't seen him in like 2 weeks.  Its really hard going from seeing someone everyday and talking to them all the time to just messaging each other on facebook
  • My sister, believe it or not. I just realized that we didn't even talk today.
  • My students.  As much as they get on my nerves sometimes, they make me laugh.
  • Having time to be creative.  I have so many "projects" that I want to get done.
  • Loving my life. Its been a long time since I have been truly "happy."  I don't even know if I would know what it feels like. 
  • Friends in general.  I need more.
I want... 
  • This pile of clean laundry to magically grow legs and go put itself up. 
  • To not feel tired all of the time.  Still think the thyroid is off. 
  • To not feel like the world is crashing down around me.  This really sounds like I need to be on anti-depressants. 
  • To look forward to going to work instead of dreading it.  I've turned into one of those people who is only there for the paycheck.  I don't care about what I do. 
  • To have more willpower to say "NO!" and stick to it.  This is true in many aspects of my life, but one is bothering me a lot lately.  (I won't bore you with the details.)
  • To stop feeling like a slacker all the time.  I feel like I always start stuff but never get anything finished. 

1 comment:

  1. Crystal! I hope you feel better soon, sounds like you need some excitement in your life...

    I'm going to try to give some advice, I don't know if it will help. Some people are always unhappy, no matter what. They think attaining certain things, or reaching certain goals will bring that happiness they have been longing for. Then when they get those things they are happy about it for a short time, then they develop new goals and get down again until they can attain them, and it's a never ending cycle.

    The reason I say that is because sometimes I feel like I'm one of those people. I'm trying to teach myself how to be happy NOW and not later when I've gotten everything I thought I wanted.

    It's a lot easier said than done, obviously. Maybe you should try to focus your attention on just one of those things that are making you unhappy, rather than all of them, which can be overwhelming. After you have improved that one area, move on to the next.

    Just some advice, not that I'm an expert or anything. Far from it!


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