Thursday, June 5, 2008

Strong Front

Ever put up a really strong front so that everyone thinks that you are doing ok? When in reality, you are falling apart on the inside? Thats me.. now... for the past year and a half.

Look at your calendar... Saturday is June 7. The day that I was supposed to get married. So the wedding was supposed to be this weekend. I don't know what I'm going to do yet. Probably nothing. Cause there is no one to do anything with. Everyone else already has plans. How much is it to ask for people to do something with me every once in a while? I HATE being this way.

For the last year and a half, no one, not one person, has just let me cry it out. They always say "You are better off with out him" or "You will get married one day" or "Better to find out before you got married" I KNOW ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE TRUE. But it still doesn't change that fact that I am hurting. That I am alone. That I have been pretending to be strong for 18 months. Every time that I was upset about it, people would be ready with one of those responses, as if that somehow magically would make things better. Well guess what... it hasn't.

I see a lot of tears coming up this weekend.

TTFN,
Crystal

1 comment:

  1. Aww.. I know completely what you mean. There is no answer that anyone can give you that will make it better. You have every right to cry.

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